


If I Touch the Sky

by LittleSparrow69



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Chris and Jensen are more like brothers than friends, Chris and Jensen share a sad and abusive past, Drugged Jensen, Friendship, M/M, Male Friendship, Pre-Slash, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-04-19 14:16:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4749482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSparrow69/pseuds/LittleSparrow69
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on this one sentence prompt by <b>crowleys_sock</b> from the kinkmeme:   <a href="http://spnkink-meme.livejournal.com/86225.html?thread=32928721#t32928721">If Jensen holds his hand out long enough, Jared will always, always, be there to take it.</a>  </p><p>Of course I had to add my own spin to it.  For <b>nina</b> who commented on <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/1047008">Old Ghosts, New Love</a> that:  <i>You should definitely write more softer fics you have a good hang of emotions (not that I don't like the kinky shit you dish out XD)</i>  Here you go, Nina!!</p><p>UPDATE JAN 2017: more to this story has been added and  you can find a link inside at the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Touch the Sky

**Author's Note:**

> I have so many plot bunnies floating around my head at any given time. Some I know will never make it to _paper_ and they just move on after a few days. Some, however, linger and are not happy to move on until they are given some attention. By writing this particular scene, inspired by the one sentence prompt on the kinkmeme, it allowed this particular bunny to fade into the background. It has not left the building but it is quiet at the moment. 
> 
> The premise here is that Jared and Jensen are not in an established relationship, Chris and Jensen grew up rough together and one night while out at a club together someone drugs Jensen's drink. Its an old and familiar trope, and oldie but goodie, and I've always wanted to do my take on it. They get Jensen home safely but have to deal with the effects of the drug. 
> 
> This is the scene that spoke to me when I read **Crowleys_sock** 's wonderful one sentence prompt...

Jared sat up quickly when he realized Jensen was no longer curled against him. The light was on in the bathroom, the door slightly ajar. He relaxed slightly, scooting to the edge of the bed, rubbing sleep from gritty eyes. 

"Jen?" He waited, not wanting to interrupt any business, but worried his friend may be sick from the drugs. 

The lack of response or any distinct movement at all had him immediately on edge. Jared opened the door half expecting to find Jensen passed out on the floor. He frowned when he found nothing but an empty room. 

"Jen?" Jared raised his voice, heading for the living area where Chris and Steve had both fallen asleep on the couch. "Jensen?" 

They woke at the sound of his voice. 

"I can't find Jensen," Jared blurted. 

Reserved in his panic, Chris asked, "Did you check my room?"

Jared shook his head, trying not to think about Jensen leaving him to seek comfort from Chris. Try as he might, though he had no claim to Jensen, he was more than a little jealous of the bond they shared. 

They were both moving in that direction when Steve said, with a bit of foreboding, "Ah, guys..."

He was staring at the door to the loft that they'd entered earlier. Jared and Chris followed his gaze. It was unlocked and partially open, dim light spilling in from the hall. For a second, maybe two, they stood in stunned, disbelieving silence. 

Chris speared Jared with a venomous, accusatory glare. 

Emotionally twitchy, Jared exploded. "Fuck you, Christian, he had to practically step over you to get to the door!" 

In other words, this wasn't his fault. 

It felt like his fault. _Fuck._

Chris looked like he'd been punched in the stomach at that, but Jared spared it little thought. He was out the door and into the hallway, uncertain as to which direction to go until he spotted Jensen's t-shirt at the top of the stairs. He picked it up, taking it with him as he bounded down the stairs, Chris and Steve hot on his heels. Finding the small lobby empty they burst out of the front entrance and onto the sidewalk, into the frigid early morning air. 

"Jensen!" They looked back and forth, uncertain as to which direction to search. Jensen was nowhere in sight. 

Chris ran a hand through his hair, looking more than a little frantic though his voice was steady. "Jense!"

"Okay," Jared couldn't stand remaining still one minute longer, "let’s split up. I'll take right, you take left. Steve, you stay..."

"Oh my god," Steve interrupted; his voice low and horrified as he gazed upward, towards the night sky. 

Jared felt a quicksilver flash of dread as he followed Steve's gaze. He may have stopped breathing. 

Jensen stood on the corner edge of the roof with his arms spread, as if ready to take flight. 

Jared was racing back up the stairs before he even realized he was moving, fear spurring him to an almost inhuman speed. Heart in his throat he had barely enough presence of mind to not go barreling through the door. He didn't want to startle Jensen, but he had a moment of blind panic, just before he carefully opened it, in which he feared he would find an empty rooftop. He released a soft, broken breath of air, relief sweeping through him as he caught sight of Jensen's moon blue silhouette, pale against the dark, starless night. 

He heard Chris and Steve making their way up the stairs behind him. He'd propped the door and taken a few cautious steps towards Jensen when Christian all but flew through the door, Steve right behind him. They both froze as he raised a hand to stay them. 

_I've got him._

Steve wrapped a hand around Chris's bicep as he stepped unconsciously toward Jensen. Jared saw his shoulder twitch, as if he thought to shake off the hold. He didn't. Instead he looked to Jared with naked, helpless desperation. Scared and uncharacteristically vulnerable, the need in Chris's eyes could have been a whisper or a scream. _Please._

The bond between the two friends was nearly tangible, despite Jensen's obliviousness to the goings on behind him. Jared spared a brief moment to wonder if Jensen slipped over the edge if there would be some invisible thread tied to Chris that would pull him over as well. They were so tangled and mixed up in each other that their relationship was sometimes hard to define. The devotion and fierce loyalty was akin to the love Jared felt for his own brother, though admittedly not nearly as intense. But it was the intimacy born through shared history and the knowledge and acceptance of one another's deepest secrets that was so similar to the unconditional love his parents shared that Jared often found difficult to reconcile. They fought like an old married couple sometimes...but they often made up the same way, sans the sex. No matter how fiery the battle, forgiveness was quick and absolute - given with a look or a touch. They simply couldn't stand to be mad at each other. 

Jared edged closer to Jensen, feeling the urgency of the few precious seconds it had taken to gain Chris's compliance. 

It was as quiet as it ever got, the deep darkness before dawn settling over the city like a blanket, peaceful and still. Clad only in his jeans, Jensen had climbed the four foot safety barrier that lined the perimeter of the roof. The ledge was wide enough for his whole foot and his center of gravity looked good. Despite the somewhat solid balance, he swayed precariously as he reached for the sky, trailing his fingers through the air above him as if it were thick like Jell-O, mesmerized by whatever it was that he could see. Jared circled wide until he reached the wall, drifting carefully into Jensen's peripheral field of vision, a few feet separating them. 

It was a few agonizing seconds before Jensen caught a glimpse of him and then did exactly what Jared had tried to avoid by approaching him quietly. Jensen smiled wide, turned to face him and almost lost his balance in the process. Jared's heart may have stopped beating. Chris gasped, surging against Steve's hold as Jensen's foot lifted from the ledge and one arm extended parallel to the ground in an almost graceful flourish to right himself. 

"Whoa," Jensen said in almost comical understatement, wide-eyed and beautifully boyish, he met Jared's gaze. "Did you see that?"

Jared wasn't sure if it was the near fall or the recovery to which he was referring. It really didn't matter. He wanted Jensen the hell off that ledge. Now. 

"Whatcha doing up there?" he asked with feigned nonchalance, fighting the terror filled urge to just snatch Jensen by the waistband of his jeans and pull him backwards, away from open air. If it came down to it, he would do exactly that, but his instincts encouraged him to tread a little more carefully - to give control rather than take it. Something that by the sound of it few people in Jensen's life, save Chris, had ever done for him. 

"I," Jensen said emphatically, spreading his arms again, "am going to fly." 

Jared felt his heart rate pick up again.

"Oh?" his mind raced with all manner of possible responses to such a statement. He settled on semi-practical. "Don't you have to have wings for that?"

Jensen looked at him fondly, as if he were a 'special' kind of dense. "You don't need wings to fly in a dream." _Silly._

Slightly startled by that Jared asked, "Is that what this is? A dream?" 

Jensen shrugged and lowered his arms, unconcerned by the logistics. 

Bathed in the blue light of the moon, crisp October air carving his features to sharp clarity, Jensen's beauty was almost ethereal. 

It occurred to Jared suddenly that Jensen didn't seem surprised to see him. He hoped that implied what he thought it did. 

"And..."Aware that he was slipping into some potentially dangerous territory Jared asked, “Do you dream of me?"

Jensen lowered his eyes shyly, glancing at him sideways. "Sometimes." 

"Do we fly?" Jared asked. "Together?" 

"No," Jensen said after a soft hesitation, "we do...other things."

Jared's smile was gentle, his insides warm. God, he so loved this boy. He knew that whatever distraction he used would have to rival whatever urge had brought Jensen to the roof. He hoped what he had in mind would be sufficient. 

"Do you remember that night at Jake's a few months ago?" he asked, following his instincts and forming a tentative plan.

Jensen cocked his head.

Chris and Steve hadn't been playing that night and they'd all gone out together for a few drinks. It had taken Jared all night to gather his nerves enough to ask one simple question. 

"I asked you to dance with me." 

Jensen dropped his gaze. 

"You said no," Jared didn't let any of the disappointment he'd felt color his voice, “but I could see it in your eyes... you wanted to say yes, didn't you?" 

Jensen peeked at him through a fringe of lashes. 

Jared edged forward and held out his hand, taking a chance. "Dance with me now."

Jensen's eyes widened, startled by the request. "I don't...I can't...

"Ah," Jared had been prepared for this, "but it’s a dream. You can do anything in a dream." 

Jensen blinked in consideration. He'd forgotten. The smile that followed was young and hopeful, carefree in a way that settled deep into Jared's heart. 

Then, as if Jensen were unfamiliar or uncomfortable with the expression, it slipped away as if it didn't belong there. 

"You don't want to dance with me," he said sadly, looking away. 

Jared kept his arm extended. "I'm pretty sure I do." 

"No," Jensen said with certainty, "you can't. You don't know...if you knew..." 

"Jensen," Jared interrupted him before the agitation that was beginning to permeate his voice presented in other ways. "I can, with all honesty, inform you that there is absolutely nothing you could tell me that would change my feelings for you."

His declaration had the desired effect. Jensen turned back to him. Tentative. Hopeful.

He wasn't about to tell Jensen he loved him while he was perched on a four story ledge and strung out on drugs, but it was all right there in his voice, shining through his eyes. 

"Take my hand," Jared encouraged, arm steady, never wavering. "Dance with me."

He held his breath, could feel Chris and Steve doing the same behind him as Jensen made an abortive movement with his hand, caution warring with a visible longing to accept what Jared was offering. 

_Trust me._

Jared knew he was asking for something that didn't come easily, that his side of the ledge required a leap of faith as clearly as the other. Jensen held his gaze like a lifeline, weighing the risk.

_I'm scared._

Jared waited, steady and patient. 

_I know..._

Jensen's gaze flickered to the horizon one last time in fleeting regret before falling to Jared's open palm in a suspended moment that stretched impossibly slow, seconds passing more like minutes until he finally, and ever so carefully, placed his hand in Jared's. 

"I've got you." _I won't let go._

Jared felt some of the coiled tension in his body ease as he protectively curled his fingers around cool flesh. He resisted the urge to tighten his grip and pull Jensen from the ledge and was rewarded with a small smile, cautious but genuine. 

He responded with one of his own, felt it spread wide and free across his face in relief. Jared stepped closer, free hand going to the outside of Jensen's thigh and Jensen's going to his shoulder as he hopped from the ledge with the carefree exuberance of someone who had no idea they were ever in any danger at all. 

Jared heard a _whoosh_ as Chris expelled all the air in his lungs and a sound that may have been his knees hitting the hard surface of the roof. He kept his eyes trained on Jensen, lacing their fingers together and guiding him to the middle of the roof, away from the ledge. Once there, Jensen's uncertainty began to creep back in. Jared didn't give him time to overthink it, just pulled him into his arms and held him close, dancing slowly to a nonexistent beat…save for his heart.

UPDATE Jan 2017: If you are interested in more of this you can find it in my Odds and Ends collection [HERE](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4829765/chapters/19548610). Thank you for reading1

**Author's Note:**

> There is more to this and it may even get written one day. For now please consider it as a completed one shot. Thank you and I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Oh, and Jake's is a bar from the days when I used to faithfully watch General Hospital :) No relation to a recently recurring canine character.


End file.
